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Land of Rising Sound will close soon, probably in less than a month.

My project, the website run exclusively by me that took me eight months of hard work to create, and another year to maintain, and costed quite a sum of money, has failed, together with the goals that I wanted to reach. Because I’m honestly exhausted. I can’t take it anymore.

I made my best to make it become what I wanted with all my strength. The problem is, sometimes even all your strength isn’t enough to keep up with your ambitions. Especially when it comes to Japanese music, most people don’t care if an album is good or bad, they don’t care how the industry works, they don’t care about the impact some groups have on the international market. They want gossips, the last confessions of celebrities announcing their weight or how many fucking children they want even when they don’t have a partner cause they’re so full of silicon even in their ovaries they can’t have a child. Or the lineup of the next Music Japan show. The kind of stuff every “website” about Japanese “music” covers. Who cares if the last Kyary single is a pile of shit, it’s Kyary, it’s popular, so it must be good!

But no. I don’t give a shit about gossips and the stuff people wants to read. I want to write about music, and I’ve probably chose the wrong industry to analyze songs and artists. No one cares about the quality of music, and that’s probably why there isn’t a single music review site in Japan, excluding the ones made by fans. Which is a shame since its full of valid artists.

I tried the “freelancer” way, but no editor sane in the brain would hire a non-native english speaker that dropped high school at 16.

Still, it’s not the industry, the casual listeners, the editors, the gossip catchers or the lack of interest in music. It’s my fault. Cause when something that’s yours doesn’t work, it’s your fault, even when you put all your energy in it. What I did wasn’t enough, and it was done wrong. Period.

This will be my last post on this personal blog as well, a blog that became a “crybaby articles compilation” at this point. The only writing you’ll see from me will be from “Perfume Disco Blog”, because I promised it’ll be active as long as Perfume will be around. That’s probably the only thing I truly enjoy, cause I love Perfume and their fans, despite the shadow of new pages about them is starting to surpass my blog as well. I can’t buy likes on Facebook, I’m sorry.

Thanks everyone for the support, you’ve always been close to me with your words, and I truly appreciate it. Much love to all of you.

See you.

  • Alex
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Walking in circles

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During the last month I started suffering from anxiety disorders. I’ve never really suffered from it before, not in concerning forms at least, but it’s getting me a bit worried now. It just happens in certain situations, while traveling in the car when not driving for example, but also when doing regular stuff at home or when I’m out. I can’t seem to get out of this stressful state of mind.

Days are confused. I spend half the time trying to figure out what I should write and what to do, and the other half sending emails, with nothing done as a result except for getting even more stressed. The remaining time I do some woodworking stuff to help a friend, but not every day.

I’m wondering if it’s really my thing. I’m still not giving up on it, but at the same I question myself a lot: It’s my dream, but it’s a torturing one, made even more difficult by the fact that I have no qualification for it, and by the competitive and cruel nature of this sector. So I could give up on it, but thinking about doing the life everyone does here is just out of discussion.

I feel restless, and tired of working on my dream and on all the other aspects of my life without seeing a single result. It’s been like this for years. Nothing changed, nothing is changing. Just me walking in circles, getting tired of myself. Will it ever end? Truth is, I need someone in my life right now. Not someone in particular. Just someone.

K: “I just want someone”
J: “It’s the biggest thing you could ever ask for”